The Great Debate – Secrecy versus Privacy

About GeoffTalbot: Geoff Talbot is an an actor/screenwriter and comedian who loves the creative process and believes that when everyone gets together great and good things can happen.

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http://www.wonderoftech.com Carolyn Nicander Mohr

Another great post, Geoff. You pack more into seven sentences than most people do in a thousand words.

I completely agree, secrecy is important. Google seems to be using that concept effectively with the launch of their new social media site. “Invitation only” with restrictions on who can join piques the interest of those on the outside.

Apple is also using secrecy effectively as very little information leaks out about their new products and launch dates, heightening anticipation.

Well done.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

yeah it’s definitely true – what a couple of great examples… I think when it comes to social networking… people are wanting a little privacy

http://www.prather-author.com Linda

Great article, Geoff. It’s difficult to protect your privacy in today’s social media, and I like the idea of secrecy. I’ll have to think about that and see how I can incorporate it into my marketing practices.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Thanks for your comment Linda try it and see… it’s very much a matter of trial and error… The secrets have to be strong enough, little stories hidden on your website (links), revealing and uncovering more and more.

G

Thesecretlifeof18

i feel like we receal more to complete strangers than to the ones we know

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Is this the secret of confessional — no consequences?

http://twitter.com/ToughOptimism T.K. Coleman

Well said, Geoff. This is a valuable lesson for me. It’s easy to let zeal take the lead and reveal everything we have indiscriminately without considering other critical factors. I also appreciate the manner in which you dissolve the aura of taboo surrounding the concepts of “privacy” and “secrecy”. Your last tip about creating boundaries is a strategy I look to implement immediately. Keep up the great work.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

thanks TK –Interestingly for me boundaries really changed when I got married.

C.S.Poulsen

Great point Geoff!
http://www.storywrought.wordpress.com Lizzie

Nice post! I was thinking this concept over earlier as I was writing tomorrow’s blog post. Boundaries are important. I’m often guilty of keeping too much secret, to the point where it could be difficult for an audience to relate to me. Balance is key. I’ll have to start practicing this more.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Tweet us a link to your blog post tomorrow Lizzie or put on the face-book page. Would love to read.

http://www.storywrought.wordpress.com Lizzie

Thanks, Geoff!

Writepaniclive

Thats amazing advice; I travel the boundary between the ultimate reveal and privacy quite a bit. While I have reveal what some would consider intimate details on my own blog – these are things that if you took the time to get to know me or even observe me for a while you would find out on your own. I love using a slight reveal whether it has to do with personal real life information or my fictional writing and then leaving it to the reader to figure out the rest. Writing, whether it a fictional piece or a personal blog should be treated much like fine desert – put a fabulous picture (your words) on display and allow the customer (your reader) decide how it tastes to them.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Great Comment Friend – Subtext real or imagined is what makes something juicy.

http://www.facebook.com/jeffsoars Jeff Mendelsohn

Boundries are the key to life; I have working on this area in my life recently; It is challenging; My secret is that this is a good tool worth using daily; meaning this website; enjoy the weekend; jeff

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Thanks Jeff… for me too. Have a great weekend yourself. Geoff

http://about.me/jonfulk Jon Fulk

Interesting thoughts. I read once (probably Nouwen) that we should keep secrets in our relationships so that there is something left for the other to discover. I wonder what this looks like practically, though.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

I think Intimacy is lost if we are too open with everyone. Who feels special?

Great comment Jon

Anonymous

Very interesting perspective. Boundaries are very important, but not sure you sold me yet on the secrecy post. Love your stuff!

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

maybe you’ll have to dig a little deeper?

Lydia Proschinger

I would say we live in an information overabundance on social media. Less is more and too much falls into the lack of attention. Therefore, if I can help it, I keep my attempt to interrupt short and sweet. That doesn’t mean that I won’t keen a constant diffusion of essential information about what I do and daily make it a must to connect with at least 10 people. I would otherwise make myself guilty of withholding essential information on how to reach me, and how they can benefit from what I have to offer. Since the information itself is life-changing and life-saving in some cases, only if people know about me and understand what I do, will they be able to invest themselves in their own benefit and be ready to learn how to practically apply this knowledge in their lives. So, yes, people should look for it but those who seek only find if you’re accessible.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Hmmm really interesting Lydia thanks. Withholding is keeping a secret for yourself and this is ultimately selfish. We are all tempted. Going to check out your very good blog now…

Susan Means

Privacy is INCREDIBLY important. I’ve learned never share extremely personal facts with anyone. You can’t trust your mother. You can’t trust most friends. Your kids will rat you out when they’re teens. Boyfriends…spouses….forget it. My secrets stay with me.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

It is always up to you and it always should be. Thanks for sharing Susan

lmkolar1

Since I’m fairly new to the whole blogging, Twitter, Google thing, I don’t have much info out there. But I do agree, it’s good to have a balance.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Thanks friend Balance is key… good comment. Geoff

http://www.jimgrayonline.com Jim Gray

if you study magicians, they hold their secrets. many times I can’t reveal what the project is about, but you can be darn sure I’m gonna tease about it! somedays i suffer from the same malady as the chap who ran out to the field and screamed “KING MIDAS HAS DONKEY EARS!!!!” into the ground…i have non-disclosure agreements on hand…

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

lol hilarious Jim – thanks

Sarah Lake

Hey Geoff!
I think you’re right on with secrecy/privacy being a great marketing tool.

I also thought that your last paragraph could pertain to personal life as well. With social networks, nothing is sacred anymore. Creating boundaries is important in personal life and business. That’s really how it resonated with me anyway!

Thanks for yor insight!

Thanks for your insight!

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

I agree Sarah, very insightful thanks for your comments… There is a mental health phenomenon with the internet and the social networks that is worrying professionals at the moment. It’s due to the duplicity that occurs – your cyber persona and your real life person.

People start to think of their internet personality as a life without consequences or boundaries, they can say what they like or look at what they like without it affecting them. If we do this we become compartmentalized. I wrote about this here Authentic Stories

Using the social networks to wisely share what we already have with others, is what it really means to be open. That’s what I think anyway?

Thanks Again
Geoff

http://medtopicwriter.com/ Samantha Gluck

Clear and concise boundaries are vitally important to any healthy relationship, whether personal or business. I like the way you illustrated the difference between secrecy and privacy in the post. Most kids and many adults do not realize that a distinct difference between the two exists. I engage A LOT on Twitter and other social media sites, but I do have clear boundaries set out. Spammers are flagged and blocked — no questions asked. I will allow my followers some foul language (especially the men — sorry guys) as long as it isn’t used in a hurtful or derogatory way towards specific individuals or groups of individuals. For example a tweet saying, “I can’t f—ing wait until Friday when this project will be over!” is o.k.; whereas, “@insert_twitter_name:disqus is a f—-king jerk for…”. I don’t respond to that type of talk from friends or strangers.

Privacy is easy for me. I don’t disclose my exact location at any time (i.e. no Foursquare) for safety and privacy reasons.

Great post!

Samantha

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Great comments and personal sharing Samantha… You get to choose your friends in life, so why not in social media?

http://twitter.com/pixi_peters Pixi Peters

Hey Geoff – loved the “secret herbs & spices” angle. I concur all ‘creatives’ need to have (or add) intrigue to their toolboxes, so long as there’s a “finger lickin good” payoff now and then. Thanks.
http://karendalycook.com KAREN COOK

Great conversation Geoff. As a marriage & family therapist, I deal with clients who have been hurt by others because they lack boundaries. Online is no different than face to face. I think it is crucial to have good boundaries with blogging and social media. I also really enjoyed the secrecy vs. privacy. Secrecy creates desire and interest and isn’t that what we are all trying to accomplish with our blogs & web sites? Thanks for the thought provoking material!

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Boundaries are vital — although when they are used for protection rather than freedom they become a prison. Thanks for commenting on Secrecy versus Privacy Karen

Sylvia

I wondering about the visibility of the boundaries more than the secrets themselves. If the boundaries are too visible, like a wall, then authenticity might suffer. Still thinking about this.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

hmmm really interesting comment Sylvia. Maybe if the boundaries are very clear and communicated well this aids authenticity? Is it about expectation?

Sylvia

Yes, but then you are saying only this far and then stop. And since there’s a stop, there’ll be no way to legally go beyond that. Which kinda says the me out here ain’t the same as the one behind the wall. But then I guess that’s so in real life,too. I think that what I’m trying to say is that as a writer you need to go places where you are vulnerable, perhaps even go naked.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

hmmm really interesting comment Sylvia. Maybe if the boundaries are very clear and communicated well this aids authenticity? Is it about expectation?

T.J. Sullivan

Secrecy is a fantastic marketing strategy when the hunger is already present in your consumers. But without the hunger, the secrecy is just a curious game with no sustained impact. Create the hunger, then feed it secrecy.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

great point TJ thanks for adding to the discussion

http://evaulian-thebestoftheworst.blogspot.com/ EvaUlian

As an undying fan of Jane Marple, Poirot, Columbo… I noticed the criminal often gets caught because he had forgotten he told a lie. This is probably true for virtual interactions too, one can separate the goats from the sheep if one has the presence of mind of remembering if someone contradicts themselves. My policy is not to lie, be it in real life or on internet because if I tell the truth, I will repeat that same truth on other occasion without falling into the trap of contradicting myself since it is not difficult to remember what is real as opposed to what one has invented.
That does not mean I have to say everything. There is some mystery in everyone of us, which most likely will be taken to the grave with us. The mystery we hide in most cases may be as simple as our thoughts- fortunately no one can read those… at least not for the time being.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Eva this is really good. Secrets are not lying and not revealing everything to everyone is a very honest way of living. Thanks for sharing.

Louise

I’ve found that creating boundaries is one of the most important things in just about everything – and I love the train of thought on mysterious treasures. That means that there are multiple layers and depths…

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

thanks Louise – multiple layers and depths – an awesome expression

http://twitter.com/SidKali Sid Kali

“create boundaries, things which you wish to share and things which you wish to keep private” Geoff this was a one hell of a post! The quote above is gold man.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Thanks Sid, I appreciate that. G

Cheri Allbritton

I’ve always thought of myself as an open book kind of person. Don’t have many secrets to speak of, or at least none that I would worry much about surfacing if I ran for President or anything…lol However, I’ve polled a few people close to me including a couple of my peers and I find that I may think I’m very open about myself I’m actually perceived as being more interested in what’s going on with others than dwelling on what’s happening with me. As the cliche catch phrase says, Go Figure! This is very cool post. Thank you for sharing it.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Huh Cheri, that is fascinating. Thanks for sharing. We all need to take that poll.

http://twitter.com/andreamv Andrea Meyer

I find it interesting that you started with the premise of marketing a brand but the discussion here is trending to talk about how we position ourselves in social media. Our personal branding, perhaps? In the workplace, I’m in public relations. So it is my job to provide information to media as it relates to business. I often work on a ‘need to know’ basis when setting boundaries and in a publicly traded company there are much more strict guidelines based on what is disclosed quarterly. In a more technical environment, there is likely to be proprietary information that provides a competitive advantage, so you set that boundary. On the personal front, what strikes me is how far ranging people are in sharing information. Some have mentioned here about limits they’ve set but I’ve seen people discuss illnesses, personal finances, etc. so then we need to decide what we’re individually comfortable with doing. In the end, I think consistency is key to successfully maintaining relationships whether at work (with customers) or in one’s personal life/participation in social media.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

I agree Andrea, thanks for sharing your awesome insights. Consistency is the key and with boundaries the key principle is “forming agreements” with yourself and others (your audience, your spouse, your family, your employer, your employees) about what can be shared. This is of course a moving target and these agreements constantly need to be redefined and re-evaluated.

Thanks again
G

http://twitter.com/maryjdressel Mary J. Dressel

Privacy and secrecy are definitely different. As far as marketing creative works, we
need to give away a certain amount of detail, then keep secrets about the rest
at initial contact. You can see this in a book excerpt. Put a few lines on a
profile page with a link to more, and others can be let in on the secret if
they’re curious enough to want more. Don’t you feel special if you’re let in on
a secret?

Privacy on the other hand, as I see it, is where you are protecting yourself or
something that matters to you. I can’t keep my website private, but I can keep the
city where I live private on my website. I can keep my facebook profile
private, but once someone becomes a friend they might learn a few of my secrets, but only things that aren’t private.

I love your post Geoff, and it took a lot of creativity to fit all that into
seven sentences. Bravo!

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

Thanks Mary — I love your succinct definitive separation of Secrecy versus Privacy. Thanks for taking part. G

Bob Spear

I have mixed feelings about this. I spent 25 years in the intelligence business and worked in a lot of facilities that had no windows and double fences surrounding them. I also worked in deception operations, so I understand exactly what your saying. In the military we have a term for this approach as “Signature Management.”

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

wow that is a very interesting world to draw wisdom from Bob… thanks for sharing

http://twitter.com/WillowLive Teresa aka Willow

Great seven sentences, Geoff. And very true. Along the same lines, a few weeks ago, I rec’d an email from an online acquaintance in which he said that he did not enjoy facebook nearly as much as he enjoyed his interaction on a now-defunct site in which many of the same people participated. His reasoning was that on the other site, we all hid behind a veil of anonymity, with nicknames and display pics that may or may not have been real. He said that there was a sense of fantasy and mystery surrounding identities on the other site–that just does not exist on facebook. But, in hindsight, that was (at least on my part) a construct of a need for privacy, not so much an attempt to create mystery via intentional secrecy. Interesting idea you expressed today

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

thanks Teresa, great story, thanks for being part of seven sentences

JHDavisUK

And how the News of the World is finding out what happens when you breach privacy – and then try and keep it secret.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

lol – hilarious comment James

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

thanks Jeff!
http://justinmwhitaker.com justinmwhitaker

There’s always a fine line to walk. If you give away too much information, then you appear unprofessional, and you lose the “mystery”. Go too far in the other direction, and you appear to be “stand-offish” and no one will even notice you are there.

I think, in the end, it depends on the brand. You have to know your brand, your products, your services, and what your community/customers expect of your brand. And deliver just enough mystery to keep them interested.
http://twitter.com/jenn_lofgren Jenn Lofgren

Fabulous thought provoking post (as usual!)…. Privacy I see is those intimate details you would only share with those closest to you and that you want to be ultimately vulnerable with. Secrecy for me involves not divulging all of the details of what I’m working on and holding my cards close until ready to pop the cork and share news Its on the “shhh” down low but something you might decipher when talking with me. Private details you’ll never get even little hints out of me unless I specifically choose to become closer with you. I’m a pretty open and transparent person, and even then there are strict boundaries with even me.

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

A great “six” sentence reply. Thanks Jenn – excellent defining of how these principles work in your life

http://fazk.wordpress.com Faz

I’ve had the experience of managing a corporate blog, twitter account & facebook page, while keeping my personal feed active at the same time. I’m lucky to share similar values with my former employer. This made adjusting my personal & corporate voices minimal. Still, I treated my personal blog, twitter & FB feed as public i.e. if anyone would’ve stumbled upon them & shared the content, it wouldn’t land me in hot soup (or boiling tar!) I rely on my pen & paper journal entries at night for the deepest, darkest, juiciest personal & private thoughts! Come to think of it, maybe I’d better put my journals in a safe!

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

good thoughts Faz – those journals sure would be interesting to read

http://fazk.wordpress.com Faz

If my mum gets hold of them, I think she’d faint…

http://sevensentences.com Geoff Talbot

definitely pays to keep your diary and/or your blog away from your mom

http://fazk.wordpress.com Faz

Geoff, thanks to your post, I dug out my journals and I find that I’ll never be able to throw any of them away. I even wrote a blog post about that. Thanks for lighting up the light bulb in my head

http://twitter.com/niki4860 niki bedford

So, hiding your secrets (which people can look for and discover) is very different from keeping your secrets, which means no one can ever discover them? I’m more of a keeper than a hider ))