I have a secret… I don’t really believe in discretion. Suppose hypothetically that I have developed a hemorrhoid in that place where the sun don’t shine. It’s not my fault I got him, it’s not like I’ve done anything wrong, so why should I be ashamed?

Why then do I walk into a pharmacy and try to appear nonchalant and disinterested as I scan the butt cream aisle looking for the right solution? Why (hypothetically) do I blush when the pretty young girl who works in the pharmacy asks me if she can help? Why do I look down at my toes and mutter “hemorrhoids” trying to disguise the word in a cough?

More importantly why did she blush? Does she have them too?